Top 10 Things to put in a Plastic Baggie!

A goldfish.


Peanut Butter and Marshmellow sandwich.


Evidence from an Investigation.


Sand.


Your Pet.


Your Life Savings.

A deadly virus.


Water.

Air.


Another Plastic Baggie!



Top 10 Things to (try to) Sell at an Online Auction!


Your self-published book titled "How to lose millions on the stock market."


Your younger sibling.


Your old toothbrush.

An autographed copy of your poem titled "Things."


Your nephew's blankie.


pirated copies of Barney sing-a-long videos.


Your old, beat-up VW Bug (with engine neither in the front nor back.)


Your local Taco Bell franchise.


Your old wedding ring.


Your pet monkey's offspring.

Top 10 Things to Say on a Date!


"I sure like chicken."


"What a wonderful day. Did I mention I was in a car accident on the way over?"


"This is so exciting! I've never taken two showers in one week before!"


"How about them Reading Phillies? ;)"

"That's quite interesting... (yawn)"


"I sold my entire 1999 set of baseball cards last week!"


"Do you watch Pokemon? I like Pokemon!"


"How 'bout them kidneys on eBay?"


"Do I smell tacos? I wish we could have tacos!"


"My pet monkey gives you two thumbs up!"

Top 10 Ways to Avoid Taxes


Move to Liechtenstein.


Claim your house as it's own country.


Find a CPA who's crooked.


Don't make money.

Put up a sign outside your business that says 'all transactions are strictly confidential'.
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Claim you were born before the income tax law was enacted and that no one told you.


Become a politician.


Induce your own coma on April 14.


Get drunk.


Live in a cardboard box.